Life After Divorce
If you are going through a divorce you may already be aware that it
is one of the most difficult things you can do in life, even if the
separation was an amicable one. For many people separation and divorce
can be a painful business. Divorce brings up many emotions and feelings
that surface when faced with loss, rejection and uncertainty.
People who are going through the breakup of their marriage can experience
feelings and emotions such as anger, despair, sadness, guilt, loneliness,
disbelief, fear, and anxiety. Some may feel numb or be disconnected
from feeling. Often there is an accompanying sense of shame and embarrassment;
a sense of deep failure when a marriage ends.
Other responses to the trauma of separation and divorce include physical
pain and somatic illnesses, mood swings, fatigue, depression, weight
gain or loss, nausea, poor concentration and sleep problems.
The decision to separate may bring major changes in the lives of all
family members. Children are especially vulnerable as their lives have
suddenly become less reliable, which in turn can result in a child feeling
anxious and fearful, (especially of abandonment), confused, angry and
lonely. The transition into a new family life situation can initially
seem frightening and be unsettling for a child until a new, and often
very different routine can be established. Children will sometimes feel
rejected by the parent who has moved out, or may feel that their loyalties
are divided, feeling pulled in both directions by parents whom they
often accurately perceive to be in battle with each other.
Learning how to manage life after divorce can be hard. You are possibly
now faced with issues that in the past were not issues to be considered
with the same emphasis or significance. Areas that can cause stress
and worry are those concerning child custody/ access, separating finances,
new living arrangements, children’s schooling and/or day care
arrangements, thinking about new work hours or studying for a new career,
and often learning to cope with less financially. Often when moving
to another area there is the added concern and challenge of making new
friends and networks. All of these new considerations can at first be
challenging, if not exhausting especially when coupled with the range
of emotions you and your family will possibly be experiencing.
Counselling during and after separation and divorce can help you deal
with these issues and any new feelings you are experiencing. An experienced
therapist can support you through these difficulties, helping you to
regain the strength and confidence you may have lost since your marriage
ended.
Divorce can be an opportunity to rediscover ourselves, what is currently
important to us in our lives, and perhaps the chance to look forward
to new and greater things not before imagined. Recovering from the emotional
blow of divorce, although painful, can in time be a strengthening and
rewarding experience, a challenge and a time of exceptional growth.
If you would like more information or help Adele can be contacted
by telephone or email.
| Phone: 0439 324 703
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